Welcome to our humble town. There’s the market. There’s the school. And here’s the altar where we burn outsiders who ask too many questions.
There’s a secret that everyone knows, and they’re not telling you. What could it be? The only way to find out is murder. Or ice cream.
Holiday fact: Candy canes were invented by a sociopath who got off on children cutting their gums with tiny shards of peppermint.
Macabre tree branch decorations | via Tumblr on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/88404525/via/SubtleGrey
It’s my mom’s birthday. Yes, I have a mom. She hatched me out of a scaly egg. Anyway, give her praise so that she might become powerful.
When life gives you lemons, bury them outside your enemy’s door, along with some hair, teeth, and livers, to curse them to a life of misery.
Whosoever pulls this sword from this stone will have a lot of explaining to do. It’s the murder weapon in dozens of unsolved cases.
There is a homeless man who picks through your garbage and looks for your discarded toenails. He’s just so lonely. And hungry.
Fact: You died that time you were really sick when you were a kid. Everything since then has just been a feverish fantasy.
Deep inside the earth, an eyeless beast has slept for eons. Soon, it will awaken, and when it does it will probably have to pee. A lot.
When the hour grows long, the moon full, and the night dark, be wary. Walking without reflectors is super dangerous.