May 2013
3 posts
The Book of Word Records: A Look at Some of the... →
The Book of Word Records: A Look at Some of the Strangest, Shortest, Longest, and Overall Most Remarkable Words in the English Language [Asher Cantrell] on Amazon.com. *FREE* super saver shipping on qualifying offers.
My book has a very snazzy new cover AND you can read the first 30 pages for free! It’s funny! I promise!
In Which I Interview Horror Author Douglas F....
I was asked by the fine folks at Apex Publications to interview Mr. Douglas F. Warrick, esq. regarding his upcoming short story collection, Plow the Bones.
I’ve talked about books here in the past and had several folks tell me that my recommendations were useful, so here’s another: Go buy Plow the Bones. It is seriously good. Apex isn’t paying me to say that. In fact, they...
April 2013
17 posts
Even more wish fulfillment!
More wishes!
Luna Fortuna wished that I would draw faces on hardboiled eggs. As I am currently a man living alone, it turns out I somehow only have one egg, and I didn’t want to boil just one, so I crammed three faces onto it. (I fed it to my cat after.)
(He’s sad because I drew his mustache badly.)
(Mouth style shamelessly stolen from Donuts for Sharks’ Kevin...
Important Fundraiser Update
Okay, I’ve been sitting on this news for a couple of days because I’m terrified that I’ll screw it up somehow and it’ll end up not happening, but here goes.
I’ve been offered a job as a staff writer with a web start-up based out of Brooklyn. It’s quite a bit more than I’m making doing my current security/freelancing combo. I’ll be writing a few...
More Wish Fulfillment!
Two more wishes to fulfill today!
Drew Miller asked me to share his awesome stand-up comedy skills with the world. Take five minutes out of your day and watch this hilarious shit.
Jack of All Trades asked me to make a video of myself beatboxing “mods and eds” into a rhythm. I’m too shy to do it myself, so I got Google Translate to do it for me.
I will have more soon!
Wish Fulfillment, Part 1 of X
It’s wish fulfillment time!
Tracy V. asked for a picture of my cat with his head in my shoe. Biscuit the kitten is happy to oblige!
Maxwell Yezpitelok asked for Brad and Jen to get back together. I don’t have that much direct influence on them. I do have some voodoo dolls I got in New Orleans, though!
DrunkOnMystery asked for a drawing of himself wreaking horrible...
16 Completely Inappropriate Things Hidden in Video... →
Until very, very recently, adult themes like nudity and alcohol abuse were a huge no-no in video games… which is probably why game designers spent so much time hiding those things. And yet we found them anyway.
So I wrote my very first article at Topless Robot with Maxwell Yezpitelok and we (meaning I) accidentally ripped off the creator of Abobo’s Big Adventure. It’s fixed now,...
Fund update!
With a final tally of $3,237, the fund is over! (The overage is from me selling the wrecked car to a salvage yard.)
I am incredibly humbled, grateful, and many other adjectives that mean that you guys are awesome for giving an idiot like me money for a car when there are so many other things that you could spend that on.
I’ll start going through the wishes on Monday, but I have some sad...
What the Violence in Bioshock: Infinite Teaches Us... →
I wrote a thing for Apex’s blog and it’s about how video games and genre fiction don’t get enough love.
Hey, so, while everyone’s doing me favors this week, how about we do some favors for other people, too?
First off, my good friend Kathy Benjamin recently released a book called Funerals to Die For. It’s not doing so hot, sales-wise, but I think it’d be a big hit with people who like the kinds of stuff I enjoy writing. After all, it’s about death and funerals and creepy...
It’s day four and only $683 remain until we hit the goal. Even if it stays where it is, though, this is still a hundred times further than I ever thought this would go.
Thank you so much, not just to those who have donated, but those who have offered advice and support and even just good vibes, too. You all know how to make a flesh demon feel special.
It’s fundraiser day 3 and we’re just over $2,000, so if you’re sick of hearing about it, be glad that it’s almost over!
It’s day two of my “drunk drivers suck” fund and you guys have raised $1848.84. I honestly can not believe it. Like, you all are fucking with me, right? It’s gonna be like “Psyche! It was Monopoly money all along!” at some point, isn’t it?
I am so incredibly thankful for all the help you guys have given some poor schlub you barely even know who maybe made...
Latest numbers: $1,676, which puts us just over 50%.
I never imagined this would get anywhere close to this, much less in under 12 hours.
Fundraiser update
Okay, so it’s been almost eight hours exactly since I started my little fundraiser (long story short, a drunk guy hit my car and I’m getting stuck with the bill) and things haven’t gone exactly how I expected. You see, some insane people have banded together and already given me almost $1,000, so I’m 1/3 of the way to my goal of $3,000! I sincerely was not expecting this,...
Quick update on the Fund: The e-mail address I posted wasn’t working because I messed up on adding it to my PayPal account. It should be working now.
Current donations: $50 (because I did give the right address to some people!)
The Ashe Cantrell Rips Off Robert Brockway's...
Just under two years ago, Cracked.com’s Robert Brockway held a fundraiser because he was having a bunch of financial issues like all of his shit getting stolen and things like that. I’m in a similar predicament now, so I am stealing Brockway’s idea and phrasing it so that it kinda sounds like I am violently castrating him. Here’s my story: On March 16th, I went to a...
March 2013
3 posts
The Complicated Love Affair Between Horror and...
Hey, so, I am now a blogger at Apex Publishing, fine purveyors of sci-fi, fantasy, and horror! You can read my debut right here. It’s about how horror and noir should get a freaking room already.
Two new articles!
It is your lucky day! Two articles from one writer you followed a year ago from Cracked and can’t remember why!
First, at Mental Floss, I’ve got 10 Lesser Known U.S. Coins that are probably not hiding in your car’s ashtray…
And at Cracked, you can find out why Boston Dynamics’ BigDog robot secretly hates humans with Why the World’s Most Advanced Robot is...
February 2013
8 posts
Four Humors is back!
Those of you who have been around a while may remember an anthology book I was involved in (both writing and other behind the scenes work) called Four Humors.
We had some issues with the original version of the book and had to pull it. For a little over a year now, the book has been unavailable to the public.
However, I’ve done a lot of work in my spare time, pruning stuff we no longer had...
Kathy the Writer: My book just got even cheaper!... →
kathythewriter:
The Least You Can Do
Sometimes you need a few extra people at a funeral to look sad and cry over the deceased. Maybe he didn’t have many friends. Maybe you can’t make it yourself and want to send someone in your place. Maybe hundreds of people showed up just to make sure that the bastard was…
I wrote a President’s Day article at Mental Floss! 5 Other Americans Who Were Kinda Sorta President!
My awesome musician friend Roth’s Child is looking for backers for his left-field hip-hop album, Carbogen. It’s really good stuff and he’s an awesome guy, so make sure you give it a look!
Designer Wanted
I’m looking for a web designer to consult with me on a big project. Interested? E-mail me (with samples of previous work) at weirdshitblog@gmail.com!
January 2013
4 posts
Top 10 Weirdest X-Men Action Figures
I wrote an article at TopTenz because all the cool kids were doing it. It’s about the X-Men action figures my brothers and I owned as children, because that kind of shit never leaves you.
(Also, this new Tumblr editor is far better and I’m not sure why people are sad about it.)
Update on the Nashville screening of Kill Me Now
Despite having over a week left before the screening, Tugg cancelled it a few days ago. I’d have figured most people buy their tickets at the last minute, as Michael Swain (the film’s co-star) has had to heavily promote screenings even in NYC and LA up to 48 hours before the screenings are meant to go on.
My suspicion is that Malco (the theater the screening was set up at) pulled the...
Best of 2012, Part I
Combining these so I don’t have double-reblogs going on, but woo! I made Mental Floss’s Best of 2012 twice! In case you missed it, I was also in the top 25 for the year at Cracked, too!
mentalflossr:
13 Little-Known Punctuation Marks We Should Be Using * 12 Proposed U.S. States That Didn’t Make the Cut * The 25 Most Powerful TV Shows of the Last 25 Years * Famous Novelists on...
December 2012
8 posts
Dear followers who live in or around Nashville...
If you’re interested in seeing some of the super-awesome Cracked.com video people in a feature film, I have excellent news! For one night only, on January 9th, you can see Michael Swaim’s theatrical debut right here in Music City. (Actually, just outside it in Smyrna, but hey.)
But! This will only happen if we can get 80 people to attend, so tell everyone you know, even if they hate...
mental_floss on tumblr: Last Week's Most Popular... →
mentalflossr:
1. 12 Letters That Didn’t Make the Alphabet * 2. 12 Terrible Pieces of Advice for Pregnant Women * 3. 12 Perfectly Acceptable Words That Started as Hated Jargon * 4. 12 Toys From the 1980s That Didn’t Take Off * 5. 12 Movie Characters Who Were Gay in the Original Books * …
Woo!
Anonymous asked: What is the weirdest piece of knowledge you have?
I am writing a book!
So, I’ve been busy lately. So busy that I haven’t even had time to update my blog.
I am writing a book! It’s tentatively called The Book of Word Records, not to be confused with the Guinness book series of a similar name. (I suspect that the title may not stick for that very reason, but I have no real idea.)
I’m not sure what the release date is going to be just yet, but...
mental_floss on tumblr: Last Week's Most Popular... →
mentalflossr:
In case you weren’t obsessively refreshing mentalfloss.com last week, here’s what you missed:
1. 6 Pieces of Folksy Wisdom That Are Actually True * 2. 10 Language Mistakes Kids Make That Are Really Pretty Smart * 3. 10 Things You Might Not Know About Atari * 4. 8 Television…
Woo! First time hitting the number one spot! (I was also number four for the month.)
November 2012
10 posts
Beyond Black Friday: The 7 Black Days of the Week →
Mental Floss is re-running my Black Days of the Week article from earlier this year. If you didn’t read it then, now is a good time!
Happy Thanksgiving, America! I am thankful that so many choose to read the silly things I write. Now go kill each other for cheap TVs.
Carson's Chance →
My buddy and fellow Cracked writer Paul K. Pickett is raising money for his Autistic nephew, Carson. He’s a good guy, so you should totally help him out.
And don’t forget to throw some money at Michael Swaim, another Cracked comrade, for his lovely Movember ‘stache.
The Creepiest Peanuts Fan Theory Ever
Charlie Brown is the typical American kid. He goes to school, deals with his weird family, plays with his dog, talks to his friends. He’s just your everyday guy that happens to be bald at the age of eight. But there’s a melancholy to Charlie Brown, especially in the television specials. Everything, the music included, tends to be somber and down key. It feels like it’s always a rainy day in the...
6 Statistically Full of Shit Dangers the Media... →
It’s the second anniversary of my very first Cracked article, which is also the first thing I ever had published! Hooray!
