Deep inside the earth, an eyeless beast has slept for eons. Soon, it will awaken, and when it does it will probably have to pee. A lot.
When the hour grows long, the moon full, and the night dark, be wary. Walking without reflectors is super dangerous.
"Girl, my dick is like infinity. It has no end and no beginning. It is ageless and timeless. It is difficult to wrap your head around it."
Apologies for today’s hexts. They were incredibly tasteless. I reset the spacetime continuum and started the day over. They never existed.
When given the Unsolvable Riddle Asked of the Newly Dead, you may be tempted to scream curses. Go for it. When will you get another chance?
With the Gentleman Brain Eaters of Dimension 186c, any skull is the finest of chalices. They sure are classy.
Don’t worry about the demon noises coming from the bushes. That one is friendly. The one that hides under your covers, though? Watch out.
Listen, it’s sweeps week, so we’re going to have to kill off someone you love. Sorry, but your ratings have been down lately.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a psychotic madman who recently escaped from the maximum security facility where he was kept.
Of course, we’re always spitting out random garbage into space—radio and TV signals, mostly. But the signals on this list are intended specifically to attract aliens.
Oh, you thought I only had one article today? Well, you were wrong, and so was I. Here’s an article about space, straight out of The Book of Word Records.